So I just got back from a youth Mission Camp on Saturday. We stayed downtown at our campus there all week. I work with the Christ Fellowship Student Ministry, and I love it so much. It was so awesome to give these kids the opportunity to serve their community, usually when people think of mission trips they think of going to South Africa or some other far off county. But these kids got to work in their own backyard, and got to experience just how much their own community needs them. It was a wonderful experience.
It was also a pretty tough one for myself, since in just two more weeks I'll be leaving Miami. Its not that I really like Miami, I mean for my whole life I've been trying to get away from it.... and I've made a few mistakes in the process I might add. But there's something here now, now that I'm a Christian I can see how much this city needs good people, and how much is changing here because of those good people. My Church recently expanded into five campuses, which is amazing given that Miami is the second most unchurched city in the US.
For a long time I thought that God really wanted me to stay in Miami, I felt it in my heart, but sometimes when you want something so much you can convince yourself of anything. I was given an opportunity to serve at the church full-time in the student ministry and I just felt like that was God giving me the opportunity that I prayed for. So after a time of debate, and talking to some people about it, I decided to take the plunge and quit my job to go work at the church. I put in some notice but when my last day arrived something came over me, I became very anxious and wary. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to pay my bills, and that when my dad moved and I lived in my own apartment I would be lost, and so I prayed about it. I asked God to please give me a sign, that if this was truly His intention for my life then to let me know, because I was scared.
The next day I went into work at the church for my first day, and the first thing to happen was the Youth Pastor that I was to work with called me into his office. I knew what was happening, and he didn't wait to give me the news. When he told me that the church decided to not hire someone for that position, it was like a ton of bricks slammed into my chest. I nearly fell to the floor, I did lean back against the door and begin to sob. Afterward I felt so sorry for the Youth Pastor because he had to see me act that way, but I just couldn't help myself. God had just slammed shut that door. I think back now and just going over it here again makes me think that maybe I wasn't ready, maybe my prayer to God showed that I wasn't ready to trust Him to provide for me. I probably was moving too fast for my own good, and its probably smart that I don't make so many sacrifices so soon in my walk with Christ because when things go wrong I might fall off track. And I really don't want that.
So now I'll be leaving in two weeks, actually a bit less than two weeks now. The Mission Camp was my last "hurrah".... and it was great, but it was also very sad. I said my first goodbye, and it hurt. But the thing that I learned while I was at the camp is this, I can trust God....
The camp was tough for me, because I'm not in the best shape, I got sun burnt on the first day, and I was just miserable. Working in the sun after you're already sun burnt is horrible. But everyday before I got off the bus I prayed that God would help me get through the day, and everyday I got through it... the work was actually not that bad, and it was eclipsed by the joy I found in spending time with the kids. We had a blast! So I know when I go to Tennessee He will have something there for me, I just have to trust in Him. And this may be only a baby step compared to the trust I would have had to put in Him had I stayed in Miami, but maybe that's the real lesson.... to take baby steps. After all, He does know all things... and He knows what might have happened had I stayed in Miami and had my faith tested. I'm sure that my faith will be tested wherever I go... but maybe to a lesser degree, like a baby step.
And to my little lights, the 3D Disciples.... you are all so amazing, my life has been blessed simply for being a small part of yours. They said that kids couldn't do the work, and you showed them. They thought you couldn't make a change, and you rocked their world. I will miss you all so much, some of you I didn't know before this week, and some of you I didn't know enough... but now I'll never forget you. Remember you let your lights shine brightly, no matter how dark it may get... because there is always someone watching.
It was also a pretty tough one for myself, since in just two more weeks I'll be leaving Miami. Its not that I really like Miami, I mean for my whole life I've been trying to get away from it.... and I've made a few mistakes in the process I might add. But there's something here now, now that I'm a Christian I can see how much this city needs good people, and how much is changing here because of those good people. My Church recently expanded into five campuses, which is amazing given that Miami is the second most unchurched city in the US.
For a long time I thought that God really wanted me to stay in Miami, I felt it in my heart, but sometimes when you want something so much you can convince yourself of anything. I was given an opportunity to serve at the church full-time in the student ministry and I just felt like that was God giving me the opportunity that I prayed for. So after a time of debate, and talking to some people about it, I decided to take the plunge and quit my job to go work at the church. I put in some notice but when my last day arrived something came over me, I became very anxious and wary. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to pay my bills, and that when my dad moved and I lived in my own apartment I would be lost, and so I prayed about it. I asked God to please give me a sign, that if this was truly His intention for my life then to let me know, because I was scared.The next day I went into work at the church for my first day, and the first thing to happen was the Youth Pastor that I was to work with called me into his office. I knew what was happening, and he didn't wait to give me the news. When he told me that the church decided to not hire someone for that position, it was like a ton of bricks slammed into my chest. I nearly fell to the floor, I did lean back against the door and begin to sob. Afterward I felt so sorry for the Youth Pastor because he had to see me act that way, but I just couldn't help myself. God had just slammed shut that door. I think back now and just going over it here again makes me think that maybe I wasn't ready, maybe my prayer to God showed that I wasn't ready to trust Him to provide for me. I probably was moving too fast for my own good, and its probably smart that I don't make so many sacrifices so soon in my walk with Christ because when things go wrong I might fall off track. And I really don't want that.
So now I'll be leaving in two weeks, actually a bit less than two weeks now. The Mission Camp was my last "hurrah".... and it was great, but it was also very sad. I said my first goodbye, and it hurt. But the thing that I learned while I was at the camp is this, I can trust God....The camp was tough for me, because I'm not in the best shape, I got sun burnt on the first day, and I was just miserable. Working in the sun after you're already sun burnt is horrible. But everyday before I got off the bus I prayed that God would help me get through the day, and everyday I got through it... the work was actually not that bad, and it was eclipsed by the joy I found in spending time with the kids. We had a blast! So I know when I go to Tennessee He will have something there for me, I just have to trust in Him. And this may be only a baby step compared to the trust I would have had to put in Him had I stayed in Miami, but maybe that's the real lesson.... to take baby steps. After all, He does know all things... and He knows what might have happened had I stayed in Miami and had my faith tested. I'm sure that my faith will be tested wherever I go... but maybe to a lesser degree, like a baby step.
And to my little lights, the 3D Disciples.... you are all so amazing, my life has been blessed simply for being a small part of yours. They said that kids couldn't do the work, and you showed them. They thought you couldn't make a change, and you rocked their world. I will miss you all so much, some of you I didn't know before this week, and some of you I didn't know enough... but now I'll never forget you. Remember you let your lights shine brightly, no matter how dark it may get... because there is always someone watching.
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